You read my name at the end of our blog posts, but I have yet to post something personal about myself. Today, that’s going to change. It has too. My life has transformed in so many ways in the last few months.
My name, as you’ve seen is Crystal Lynn. I go by Kris. What you did not know about me is that I am completely blind. I don’t see anything at all; no colors, no shapes, no light. My Seeing Eye Dog and I travel the world together: I rely on him for guidance, he relies on me for love and care. It’s actually a pretty sweet partnership, but that’s not why I’m here. I could type a million things about myself; explain my blindness, etc. But that’s not what this is about. I will leave it with these facts. I was born with a rare genetic eye condition called Liebers Congenital Amaurosis. I have never seen, and I have no inclination to ever do so, even if a cure could be found. I am an animal lover, and they, along with my family, friends, and a passion for writing make up the core of who I am.
In May of 2018, I attended a virtual internship fair that was being held by the school I was attending for my second master’s degree. I met a recruiter who was looking for virtual interns for a company called Yarcort. Now, to explain a bit, I did not expect to receive an internship. I’d been rejected by so many companies; my mindset was totally negative. But I had an interview anyway, and that same night, I was offered the internship as a content writer. I jumped at the chance, mostly because I love horses, and I wanted to build my resume. Little did I know; my life was about to change completely.
I first met Gina during one of our earliest team meetings. She had this openness about her that gave me pause. I was shy, incredibly so, and the last thing I wanted was to be noticed by the boss. I figured that only happened to people who weren’t performing well. But there was something about her, and something, as it turned out, that resonated with me about the work we were doing.
A light bulb moment.
As I wrote blogs and newsletters, I began reading Gina’s book. Her words made sense to me, and I began to see just how much my own life was being shaped by negativity, stress, and anxiety. But I did nothing about it. I would blame fear, but the truth is, I just wasn’t ready to see what I needed to change. For others though, I believed that Gina’s book, and EAL could help a person remove any negative habits or patterns they needed too to reach their goals. I could see how it would all work, and I read the testimonials. I wrote all about regulating stress and anxiety, and never once did I ever stop to consider how much I should internalize what I was writing.
While I was reading, writing, and consuming myself with a fear I never needed to have, my internship became a permanent position. I was shocked. In fact, instead of celebrating my own success, I began to question. Why, after all this time did I finally get a job? Was it a pity job? I was consumed with stress, and by extension, so we’re my relationships, my work, my school work, and every other part of my life. I submitted my blogs like I always did and got told one day that Gina wanted to meet with me. “This is it. I’m going to get fired. I screwed up. What did I do? I couldn’t even keep my job for more than a month!” I chastised myself internally, while outwardly snapping at the people I loved best, and isolating myself more and more to brood on what, exactly, I could have done wrong. Neither Gina nor I was prepared for the meeting that followed.
I think we were about two sentences in to the meeting when I started to cry. I can’t honestly remember, but it was fairly early. Gina, for her part, was very kind, asking me what was wrong and trying to help me pull myself out of the stress box I’d squeezed myself in to so that I could talk. Once we’d established that I was not, in fact, being fired, we began to discuss what was wrong with me. My blogs from that week had not been my usual style, in fact, they hadn’t been in some time. Genuinely concerned, Gina had reached out, not to chastise or discipline me, but to see if everything was ok. That’s when it clicked. I’d made this mess for myself. For so long, I’d expected negativity, that I was causing it for myself. I was so stressed, and so convinced of my own failings, that I’d failed to see the good, and instead, began pouring my own feelings of fear and anxiousness in to every aspect of my life. I asked Gina for her help, and to my surprise, she agreed.
You can’t get to where you want to be, unless you think it first.
I had a huge learning curve, but we all do in the beginning. I remember the very first time we had a coaching call, Gina asked me how I was. I don’t remember what I said, probably “fine” or something like that, but it was one of the most cookie cutter answers possible. I didn’t want this person, my boss, getting in to my personal life. So, we went on to talk about my goals and beliefs. At the end of the call, Gina asked me to keep a positivity journal. I thought it was a bit odd, but I tried. That journal has entries for every day since then, and I am absolutely blown away by my own progress.
We’re about three months in to working together now, as client and coach. I am still one of Yarcort’s content writers as well. Slowly at first, and now more steadily, I am learning to look at situations in a new light. Before working with Gina, my reaction to any problem, obstacle, or challenge was “this is the end of the world.” Now, when I see a challenge ahead, while I know that life isn’t all roses and some things are harder than others, I look at the situation, make a goal, and find a step I can immediately take to head me in the direction I need to go. I have learned that any obstacle can be overcome. Success is a choice, and as long as I stayed in the sad, negative, anxious patterns I was in, I wouldn’t find it. But the more I find a sense of positivity, the less I stress and worry, I find meeting goals becomes easier. My relationships have become more positive and caring. My writing has improved dramatically. There’s a “brightness” to my life that I’d never felt before. I believe finally, that I truly have the power to create the life I want. And all this has happened in three months. A year or more of therapy had taught me nothing, however my work with Gina is helping me change in such a short time. Do I have more to learn? Definitely! Am I completely stress free? No. Do I sometimes slip back in to old patterns? Yes, but less and less every day. Have I met the goals I have for my life? Not yet, but I’m making steady progress. You can’t get to where you want to be unless you think it first. I’m thinking it, and I’m making steps every day. Each day starts with a renewed promise to myself to remain positive: and so far, even though I have had challenges, and moments of returning to the place I started from, I am finding myself in those places less often. I am instead finding that I have the tools to really think things through, and I can come at situations with a different, more open mindset.
As I work with Gina and change my own thoughts and patterns, I’ve learned more than I can write for you here. The more we work together, the more I change, and the more Gina, and my co-workers at Yarcort become an extension of my family. There is a sense of freedom and peace that I’d never known before.
Yarcort and you.
If you’ve read this far, then I’m certain my story has resonated with you, and you could use some guidance and help. I encourage you to message Yarcort or simply call us 570-756-3036
Written by Crystal Lynn